(1299 quotes found)
“ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
So wide his erudition's mighty span, He knew Creation's origin and plan And only came by accident to grief -- He thought, poor man, 'twas right to be a thief. --Romach Pute”
“CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
A busy man complained one day:
"I get no time!" "What's that you say?" Cried out his friend, a lazy quiz;
"You have, sir, all the time there is. There's plenty, too, and don't you doubt it -- We're never for an hour without it." --Purzil Crofe”
“GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportion to the quantity of matter they contain --the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.”