Andy Borowitz

Quote count:: 10
Times favorited:: 0

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and satirist who won the first-ever National Press Club award for humor. His main outlet is the website, the Borowitz Report.

All quotes by Andy Borowitz

(10 quotes found)

“After Sept. 11, I didn't write a piece for a couple of days because I thought people wouldn't want me to be funny. This time, it was so obvious what could be written, and I'll continue to write it. I can usually gauge reader response from the number of people who cancel on my e-mail list, and there's been no major withdrawal.”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“Army Offers to Pay Recruits in Gasoline.”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“At the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that the decision to pay recruits in gasoline, while unorthodox, was a 'slam-dunk solution' to the Army's nagging shortfalls in enlistment.”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“I wanted to get away from big, expensive network projects, ... so I moved to New York and I did nothing. And then I discovered the Internet. I didn't think of it as a moneymaker -- I wrote stuff I thought my friends would find funny.”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“I feel like Cal Ripken or something, ... This insanity is all self-imposed.”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“I think the reason that satire is on the rise is because the real news is so bad right now, ... I'd love it if we lived in a world where there was nothing to satire, but given this world, people need satire and comedy right now. ... [Humor] enables us to look at the horrible things going on and survive [them].”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“I am resigning effective immediately. Bo Derek will become the new vice president.”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“Britney is one of our great comedians. She has been hilarious,”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison,”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

“Get over yourselves with the coffee. You know, we all have it. It's like being famous for mustard or gum.”

Andy Borowitz

embed quote add to favorites email quote

Popular Quotes Widgets

Quotes For Upcoming Events

Jul 4

Independence Day

Use QuotesDaddy for your Email signature

Andy Borowitz

All quotes by Andy Borowitz

Popular Quotes Widgets

Site Links

User Links

For Developers

About Quotes Daddy

Sponsored Links