(75 quotes found)
“Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”
Fran Lebowitz
“Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.”
“I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.”
“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.”
“Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.”
“As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”
“If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.”
“Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.”
“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”
“Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house”
