(43 quotes found)
“My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.”
Jay London
“I went to an audition the other day, they were casting 13 people to be clouds, 14 people showed up, it was overcast.”
“I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time."”
“I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.”
“I had a very lonely New Year's this year, I had to watch my own balls drop.”
“I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.”
“My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.”
“It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.”
“I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.”
“You know what burns me? Matches.”
