(149 quotes found)
“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing”
Kin Hubbard
“Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it”
“When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing, it's the money”
“Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.”
“The fellow that owns his own house is always just coming out of a hardware store”
“Many a family tree needs trimming”
“The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son”
“Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.”
“There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them”
“Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.”