(13 quotes found)
“Two of the most miserable players in baseball - the Dodgers' Milton Bradley and Jeff Kent - are at war with each other. Isn't this a little like choosing sides between Iran and North Korea?”
Mike Bianchi
“saw the perpetrator running away from the crime scene and yelled out, 'Stop or I'll shoot a free throw!'”
“According to B urine samples that have been around for years, the French publication L'Equipe is reporting that Warren Sapp tested positive for a turkey drumstick in 1999.”
“OK, then, let me inform Magic fans right now that the next NBA draft is scheduled for June 27, 2006.”
“I don't know about you, but for $45 million, I'd dress up in a pink teddy, feather boa and high heels if that's what Stern wanted.”
“This is the 'Monday Night Football' for college. All eyes are on this.”
“A big, hairy guy comes to New York and takes the city by storm. Am I talking about the remake of King Kong, or Johnny Damon?”
“Sadly, Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong have split up. I guess she got tired of riding on the handlebars every time they went on a date.”
“Does anybody else find it absolutely hilarious that a football coach is complaining about being lied to during the recruiting process? That's like the pig telling the skunk he has body odor.”
“What — is Monday the day the recycle bins are picked up at Isleworth?”