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Rita-rudner

Rita Rudner
(American Comedian)

Nationality:: American
Quote count:: 43
Times favorited:: 161

Rita Rudner is an American comedienne and writer.

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All quotes by Rita Rudner

(43 quotes found)

Rita Rudner

“I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.”

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Rita Rudner

“My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.”

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Rita Rudner

“I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.”

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Rita Rudner

“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”

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Rita Rudner

“My mother buried three husbands Ð and two of them were only napping.”

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Rita Rudner

“In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.”

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Rita Rudner

“Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before”

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Rita Rudner

“They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.”

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Rita Rudner

“Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”

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Rita Rudner

“Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.”

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