Rodney Dangerfield , born Jacob Cohen, was an American comedian and actor, best known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect" and his monologues on that theme.
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(60 quotes found)
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
“My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.”
“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”
“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
“I was so poor growing up - if I wasn't a boy - I'd have had nothing to play with”
“I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet”
“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”
“girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.”
“I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”
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