Rodney Dangerfield , born Jacob Cohen, was an American comedian and actor, best known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect" and his monologues on that theme.
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(60 quotes found)
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”
“I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.”
“Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.”
“I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.”
“I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.”
“I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.”
“I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.”
“My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.”
“With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!”
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
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