“My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex—ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.”
Margaret Cho
“Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.”
Mae West
“I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.”
Phyllis Diller
“My boyfriend calls me 'princess', but I think of myself more along the lines of 'monkey' and 'retard'.”
Alicia Silverstone
“I know quickly whether a guy is boyfriend material. If I can have a good time doing absolutely nothing with him, then that's boyfriend material for me. Like if we're able to have fun at a gas station. I've had some really good times at gas stations.”
Alyson Hannigan
“A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.”
Erma Bombeck
“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.”
Rita Rudner
