“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
Mark Twain
“If I were to see the future and notice that I were alive at age of ninety, I would, at sixty, end it all before the possibility of adult diapers.”
Justin Murtey
“You're just as witty as you feel, just as witty as you feel inside.”
Rain Bojangles
“ Watching a Terebyte of movies in one month is an accomplishment in any country.... accept for Afghanistan”
Nathan Elmo Melo
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
Billy Wilder