“What a sandwich maker does is make the grilled cheese a little more special. Not only does it make the marks, but it flattens it well and makes for a good cheese-bread ratio.”
Laura Werlin
“This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"”
Bill Hicks
“The fajita grill is not as popular as the quesadilla maker. The fajita grill is not an item that has met market saturation.”
Samantha Dreimann
“I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of something, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like mine.”
Mitch Hedberg
“If I knew the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich was going to be somewhere, I'd go look at it. But I'd rather see the Elvis cup.”
Wade Jones
“You kill 'em, we grill 'em!”
Bart Simpson
“They used to have a fish on the menu that was smoked, grilled and peppered They did everything to this fish but pistol-whip it and dress it in Bermuda shorts.”
William E. Geist
