“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
“The most dangerous food is wedding cake”
James Thurber
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