“I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.”
Mitch Hedberg
“I think that they should call a cheese grater by its real name...a sponge ruiner.”
“What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street... It's a way to open shit...”
“A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.”
“I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.”
“I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for ME.”
“That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, It's cool, he's with me.”
