“Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so.”
Dorothy Parker
“I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous.”
Ani Difranco
“My roommate says, I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom? It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.”
Mitch Hedberg
“For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.”
Catherine Zeta Jones
“A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.”
Bill Cosby
“Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.”
Candice Bergen
“Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.”
Peter Nivio Zarlenga
