“If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.”
Jack Handy
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
“Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go”
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
“And the wild regrets and the bloody sweats None knew so well as I: That he who lives more lives than one, More deaths than one shall die.”
