“Some people should come with a *brains not included* sticker”
Laurel Clive
“You're just as witty as you feel, just as witty as you feel inside.”
Rain Bojangles
“If I were to see the future and notice that I were alive at age of ninety, I would, at sixty, end it all before the possibility of adult diapers.”
Justin Murtey
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams
