“When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.”
Scott Adams
“There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as "nutty methods." Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time.”
“ Watching a Terebyte of movies in one month is an accomplishment in any country.... accept for Afghanistan”
Nathan Elmo Melo
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey
