“No problem is insoluble, given a big enough plastic bag.”
“Rise and shine? I do not think so. Rise, grind, and THEN shine is how you get the morning started!”
“Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist: while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
“The objective of makeup is to make yourself look nothing like yourself. Yes people, the truth is out. Someone unfortunately spilled the milk...get it?”
“Siked, a poor misspelling of "psyched", was created by a nation of slack-ass, unintelligent teenagers...as were most of the words in the English language used today.”
“A best friend shares the good times and helps you out by listening during the bad ones.”
“Throwing your phone in anger, then checking if it's still ok. That's love.”
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