“I got stuck in a segue for half an hour.”
Kris Huen
“You're just as witty as you feel, just as witty as you feel inside.”
Rain Bojangles
“If I were to see the future and notice that I were alive at age of ninety, I would, at sixty, end it all before the possibility of adult diapers.”
Justin Murtey
“I missed the tree for the forest.”
“You ever lick butter off your finger and then realize it was soap? Me neither”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey
