“DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number --just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice. Following is the revised edition of the Decalogue, calculated for this meridian.
Thou shalt no God but me adore:
'Twere too expensive to have more.
No images nor idols make For Robert Ingersoll to break.
Take not God's name in vain; select A time when it will have effect.
Work not on Sabbath days at all, But go to see the teams play ball.
Honor thy parents. That creates For life insurance lower rates.
Kill not, abet not those who kill; Thou shalt not pay thy butcher's bill.
Kiss not thy neighbor's wife, unless Thine own thy neighbor doth caress
Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete Successfully in business. Cheat.
Bear not false witness --that is low -- But "hear 'tis rumored so and so."
Cover thou naught that thou hast not By hook or crook, or somehow, got. --G.J.”
“Finding speakers this year was not harder and our budget had no impact on the selection, although it is more expensive to get two speakers. We thought it was too much to ask of one person to do two ceremonies.”
“In most cases, the locals selected were the winner of the Sonic Bids Opening Bands contest. Where we did not hold the contest, the locals were either bands we have worked with in the past or were recommended by the local venue.”
“If you nominate a guy, he'll be on that list. They're not really considered for the team. That selection process began a year and a half in advance . . . The players think they're being considered but they're not.”