“We already have arrangements with the funeral director. The casket is bought. The stone is half paid for.”
Allen Jackson
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain
“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to miss mine by just a few days”
Garrison Keillor
“The bitterest tear shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone”
Harriet Beecher Stowe
“Haul up the flag, you mourners, Not half-mast but all the way; The funeral is done and disbanded; The devil's had the final say”
Karl Shapiro
“While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.”
John Taylor
“The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.”
Samuel Goldwyn
