“Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we stand by each other.”
William Tecumseh Sherman
“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?”
Jack Handy
“Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.”
Jim Morrison
“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!”
Bruce Aidells
“When the doors of opportunity swing open, we must make sure that we are not too drunk or too indifferent to walk through.”
Jesse Jackson
“I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.”
Bette Midler
“Come on. I got drunk when I was like 5.”
Fiona Apple