“My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down -- but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round.”
Willie Nelson
“Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.”
Jim Morrison
“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?”
Jack Handy
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
Shel Silverstein
“Children and drunks always speak the truth.”
Proverb
“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
Winston Churchill
“'You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk. 'Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.”
