“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
Woody Allen
“I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.”
Lewis Grizzard
“He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that he really is dead.”
Voltaire
“Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.”
“Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris.”
Oscar Wilde
“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations”
“When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.”
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