“Everyone tells me that I shouldn't have retired. I guess in a way I haven't I enjoy taking classes and volunteering.”
Elaine Hanratty
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
Shel Silverstein
“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.”
Contributed by: Dafna Sharon
R.C. Sherriff
“My wife is retired and encouraged me to retire while my health was good so I could enjoy these years.”
Warren Fields
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm.”
George Carlin
“I'm going to start taking out loans next semester, ... My dad had to take money out of his retirement fund.”
Charlemagne
“As Greenspan retires, I shall retire my paintings of him and am ready to move on.”
Erin Crowe
