“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin
“We must laugh before we are happy, for fear we die before we laugh at all.”
Jean de La Fontaine
“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
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