“I've been retired for about four days now.”
Eric Zornes
“It's too early for me to retire, but I did four days ago.”
Alain Maboussou
“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.”
Contributed by: Dafna Sharon
R.C. Sherriff
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm.”
George Carlin
“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.”
Abe Lemons
“As Greenspan retires, I shall retire my paintings of him and am ready to move on.”
Erin Crowe
“The only thing missing from the retirement party for Blair was a gold clock. It's quite clear that there's an orderly handover taking place. What we saw is the new leader.”
Paul Kenny
