“The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it”
Truman Capote
“I am going to my room to masturbate before I have a light lunch, if you would like to come and watch”
Salvador Dalí
“What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.”
Milos Foreman
“I never did like working out - it bears the same relationship to real sport as masturbation does to real sex”
David Lodge
“Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love”
Woody Allen
“She can quit over bad chicken, but she can't understand that making men masturbate is wrong? ... She knows right from wrong.”
Chris Graveline
“You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island.”
Ron Jeremy