“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...”
George Carlin
“Well, I finally received an award from The Writer’s Guild. 'To author Bob Miller, whose work reads like a morgue report on Wikipedia.'”
Bobby W. Miller
“I’ve often wondered, since I was the moron that Billy Hicks and George Carlin were talking about, why I laughed?”
“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”
Victor Borge
“If you think you know everything about baseball, your dead wrong!”
Julian "JUNEBUG" Bussells
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
