“Atheism is a non-prophet organization”
George Carlin
“You're just as witty as you feel, just as witty as you feel inside.”
Rain Bojangles
“If I were to see the future and notice that I were alive at age of ninety, I would, at sixty, end it all before the possibility of adult diapers.”
Justin Murtey
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
Tommy Cooper
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”
“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
Mark Twain
