“The bulbs we planted in the fall should be in full bloom the first and second week of April.”
Scott Johnson
“The main problems are, firstly, the inappropriate location of the plants; secondly, their failure to follow environmental guidelines; and thirdly, that more than 100 of these plants pose an environmental risk.”
Zhou Shengxian
“I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!”
Mitch Hedberg
“A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit.”
Elton Trueblood
“A practical botanist will distinguish at the first glance the plant of the different quarters of the globe and yet will be at a loss to tell by what marks he detects them”
Carolus Linnaeus
“The trees of the LORD are full of sap; the cedars of Lebanon, which he hath planted; / Where the birds make their nests: as for the stork, the fir trees are her house.”
Bible
“On some days, the plant has been operating at a full load. The steam you see is normal.”
Art Larson
