“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.”
Groucho Marx
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
Winnie the Pooh
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”
Ethel Barrymore
“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
