“I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest."”
Janeane Garofalo
“If I were to see the future and notice that I were alive at age of ninety, I would, at sixty, end it all before the possibility of adult diapers.”
Justin Murtey
“You're just as witty as you feel, just as witty as you feel inside.”
Rain Bojangles
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams
“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
Erma Bombeck
“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
“Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got 'Full House,' it was, like, wow, he's playing this all-American dad kind of thing. That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in 'Full House.'”
Bob Saget
