“I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"”
Jay Leno
“Here's my advice: Go ahead and be whacky. Get into a crazy frame of mind and ask what's funny about what you're doing.”
Roger Von Oech
“One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.”
G. Weilacher
“I'm so tired, but I can't sleep...standing on the edge of something much too deep...funny how I feel so much but cannot say a word...we are screaming inside, oh, but we can't be heard...so afraid to love you, more afraid to lose...clinging to a past”
Sarah McLachlan
“Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.”
Oscar Wilde
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
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