“[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.”
Jeff Foxworthy
“Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said "sex is good". All available evidence, however, points to the contrary.”
Matt Groening
“We just wet ourselves. If you've got a airplane coming at you don't know whether to run or hide.”
Jim Wilson
“The waves were coming over the boat and it was cold and very wet.”
Jim Barr
“It seemed like someone was coming in and swimming when they weren't there. They would see wet footprints on their deck.”
Tony Revely
“It will be a long process, unless we get a storm coming through and some rain wetting down the area.”
Chief Kim Forbes
“With the ground as wet as it is we'll be back under flash flood warnings and watches by Monday.”
Gregory Hall
