“He can beat teams in so many ways, whether it be a stolen base, bunt or a homer, or with his glove. I think he'll play professional baseball.”
“(Homer:) Check it out, Erin shaved my head.
(Marge:) You are bald!
(Homer:) Noooo.. Im young person cooool bald, not old person sad bald.”
“Jason or Barry Bonds, you don't want them to hit a homer. As a team, you want him to be on base, and sometimes, they'll surprise you. Barry Bonds, he doesn't want to bunt, but you never know.”
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
“Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.”
“Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
“We have to steal bases to be successful. We're not a big three-run homer team, and speed shows up to the ballpark everyday.”
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