“The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?”
Bill Hicks
“ Watching a Terebyte of movies in one month is an accomplishment in any country.... accept for Afghanistan”
Nathan Elmo Melo
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
Albert Einstein
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey
