“If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex!”
Kate Beckinsale
“If share markets continue to behave in this way for five more years, then the only stock people would buy would be the livestock.”
Dr Hitesh C Sheth
“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
Winston Churchill
“There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.”
Rufus Wainwright
“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough”
Albert Einstein
“This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"”
Bill Hicks
“The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.”
