(634 quotes found)
“To announce truths is an infallible receipt for being persecuted.”
Voltaire
“If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers”
Dan Castellaneta
“Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.”
Conan O'Brien
“Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.”
David Letterman
“Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor of California. The announcement was good news for Florida residents who now live in the second flakiest state in the country.”
“George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.”
Stephen Wright
“Scientist announced a device that can be placed in a pacemaker and will call your doctor whenever you are having heart trouble. When told about it, Dick Cheney said, "I can't afford those kind of phone bills."”
“Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.”
Thomas Mann
“She made it clear on the day she announced it. She commuted all death sentences to life imprisonment. Now the people are confused because of all the varieties added into it. But whatever it is, the government should implement the law.”
Dante Jimenez
