(460 quotes found)
“What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy”
Voltaire
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
John Glenn
“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”
Stephen Wright
“Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.”
Maurice Chevalier
“All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.”
George Harrison
“I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.”
Rita Rudner
“The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.”
Seneca
“With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“They gave it me . . . for an un-birthday present.”
Lewis Carroll
“Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's notto be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.”
Jerry Seinfeld
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