(11 quotes found)
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
Erma Bombeck
“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
“When humor goes, there goes civilization.”
“You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.”
Contributed by: Andy James
“Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly.”
“Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.”
“I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself."”
“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”
