(142 quotes found)
“Only mothers can think of the future-because they give birth to it in their children.”
Maxim Gorky
“I was much distressed by next door people who had twin babies and played the violin; but one of the twins died, and the other has eaten the fiddle, so all is peace.”
Edward Lear
“What good is a cow that neither gives milk nor conceives? Similarly, what is the value of the birth of a son if he becomes neither learned nor a pure devotee of the Lord?”
Chanakya
“If men had to have babies, they would only ever have one each.”
Princess Diana
“I don't want to go through the pain. My mom said giving birth was the most excruciating thing she's ever gone through in her life.”
Britney Spears
“What's all this fuss about fathers being present at the birth of their children? The way events are shaping, they'll be lucky to be present at the conception.”
George H. Davies
“[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.”
Jeff Foxworthy
“The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.”
Dave Barry
“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.”
Bible
“Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, so. What did you think?”
Steven Wright
