(218 quotes found)
“Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'”
Jay Leno
“If Bill Clinton was Moses, he would have come down with the Ten Suggestions.”
Bill Maher
“Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $16M for two people who for eight years couldn't remember anything.”
“President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003.”
Conan O'Brien
“Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.”
David Letterman
“Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.”
Craig Kilborn
“Clinton said he feels safe in Harlem. It's the only place in the state Hillary is scared to look for him after dark.”
“The reelection of Bill Clinton is as secure as a double-knot tied in wet rawhide.”
Dan Rather
“We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.”
“Vanity Fair magazine reports that former President Clinton and Al Gore haven't spoken to each other since George W. Bush's inauguration. Not only that, Bill and his wife, Hillary, haven't spoken since Richard Nixon's inauguration.”
