(571 quotes found)
“You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready? "Uh huh." Dinosaurs. You know the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point. "And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus...with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend.”
Bill Hicks
“In tragedy every moment is eternity; in comedy, eternity is a moment.”
Christopher Fry
“My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.”
Jerry Seinfeld
“All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.”
Charlie Chaplin
“You can think of Hollywood as high school. TV actors are freshmen, comedy actors are maybe juniors, and dramatic actors - they're the cool seniors.”
Owen Wilson
“Life is funny. Life isn't categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don't know why they try to categorize everything. It drives me crazy-why it would have to be just a romantic comedy or...I want to have a little integrity, a little story, you know.”
Jennifer Aniston
“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.”
Sholom Aleichem
“Comedy is tragedy plus time.”
Carol Burnett
“Once you can laugh at your own weaknesses, you can move forward. Comedy breaks down walls. It opens up people. If you're good, you can fill up those openings with something positive. Maybe you can combat some of the ugliness in the world.”
Goldie Hawn
“The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.”
W. C. Fields
