(70 quotes found)
“Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe they keep him only in loyalty oath audiences, is if he becomes angry, I do believe he turns into the Hulk. And so, they try and keep people from questioning him, because he'll just -- the shirt rips, and suddenly he has hair. So he's been my favorite, because he just goes out there to a room full of supporters and says, 'You know we're all going to die, right?' You're going to die unless I'm in charge.'”
Jon Stewart
“I hope one day I can clone another Dick Cheney. Then I won't have to do anything.”
George Bush
“Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work.”
George W. Bush
“Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons. It's not easy for President Bush, he can't just name a replacement. He would first have to be confirmed by the oil, gas and power companies.”
Jay Leno
“I'm just so looking forward to seeing Dick Cheney because it's like the sighting of a rare white elk when he shows up. And I don't even think it's Dick Cheney anymore. We see him so rarely ... that I think he may be my old shop teacher.”
Lewis Black
“President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes.”
“At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner. Afterwards he met with 100 donors, not campaign donors, heart donors.”
“Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?”
David Letterman
“Vice President Dick Cheney said he is upset when critics say [the administration] lied us into the war. I say fine, just lie us back out and we'll call it even.”
“The top story, as always, is America remaining obsessed, fascinated -- appalled -- by what is now being called Dick-Cheney-Shot-a-Guy-in-the-Face-Gate. Not as catchy as others have been ...”