(79 quotes found)
“Most people have a harder time letting themselves love than finding someone to love them.”
Bill Russell
“The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.”
Oscar Wilde
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McCloskey
“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
Stephen Wright
“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
Tommy Cooper
“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"”
Annie Dillard
“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
“We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.”
Napoleon Bonaparte
“If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.”
George Gobal