(4007 quotes found)
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”
Franklin P. Jones
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
Bob Hope
“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"”
Annie Dillard
“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time”
Friedrich Nietzsche
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”
Ethel Barrymore
“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”
Victor Borge
“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.”
A. A. Milne
“I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.”
Michael Davis
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
Oscar Wilde
