(492 quotes found)
“George Bush taking credit for the wall coming down is like the rooster taking credit for the sun rising.”
Al Gore
“Vanity Fair magazine reports that former President Clinton and Al Gore haven't spoken to each other since George W. Bush's inauguration. Not only that, Bill and his wife, Hillary, haven't spoken since Richard Nixon's inauguration.”
Conan O'Brien
“George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.”
Stephen Wright
“George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17”
Craig Kilborn
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm.”
George Carlin
“George Pappas: For me the Internet is just yet another way of being rejected by women.”
You've got mail
“George Bush has met more foreign heads of state than I have. But a substantial number of them were dead.”
Jesse Jackson
“George Fawcett told Dad to look him up if he ever wanted to be in the movies. Of course, Dad still had the Rose Bowl to play.”
Cynthia Brown Hale
“In George W. Bush's latest reincarnation, he claims to be Reagan-like. Mr. Bush, I know Ronald Reagan. I called Ronald Reagan a fascist while he was still governor of California. And Mr. Bush, you are no Ronald Reagan.”
Patty Hearst
“Defer not thy well-doing; be not like St. George, who is always a horseback, and never rides on.”
Benjamin Franklin