(15283 quotes found)
“It's about a girl and a guy and they both die....no wait...she doesn't die....he just THINKS she's dead.....”
Frank Iero
“What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?”
Woody Allen
“This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“I want to be remembered as the guy who gave his all whenever he was on the field.”
Walter Payton
“Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said," I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?”
Calvin & Hobbes
“A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth.”
Kim Cattrall
“Sometimes guys need to cry. Some hockey players think they're too tough to cry.”
Brett Hull
“Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing.”
Denis Leary
“When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?”
Stephen Wright
“If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.”
Dan Castellaneta
